Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What to do if you suspect your child has contracted architecture.

First of all, ignore the reaction of banishment , While Architecture is a highly contagiousness deseas, if caught early enough it can be uprooted before it has chance to take a foot hold. And infect others with a life, of suffering - and pain at every badly built monstrosity, you and others do not have to live this way.
There are some tell tale signs of infection. If you child is seen staring at walls and door jam's, you have an infection. Also it is important to be aware of any wearing of black cloths, square rimmed glass, and any attachment to books such as 'the fountainhead' or 'invisible cities' is to be noted, particularly in the early stages of contamination. If your child is seen with messy hair - send them to the bathroom immediately! the carrying of small black notebooks and tell tale ink stained fingers at symptoms of advanced degeneration and should be dealt with accordingly.

There is hope! Should you suspect your child of architecture, immediately remove your family to a cave in the Himalayas. in order to be free from all square forms. Alternativly a trip to visit any of Antonio Gaudi's works may alleviate the right angles symptoms. However it is vital that the child be kept away from places of extreme right angled-ness.
If your child is caught wearing black or purchasing square black framed glasses. Point out to them the joys of skate boarding or surfing,or take them to a nudists colony where they might recuperating quietly.
For those with children showing signs of sever degeneration, Point out to them a joys of mathematics, or accountancy. By them a slide rulle, or give them a holiday at KPMG or SASOL.
The removal of all self harming objects is recommend in all cases , not black pens or ink, no note pads or paper of any kind is to be tolerated. Computers where they are present pose a massive risk, and are to be eliminated from the diet.
The god complex, resulting from contamination is to be eradicated with a short course of project managements therapy.... where by the subject is to be sealed into a sound proof room 'for the protection of the administers ears' and placed together with a project manager, who is two weeks over dead line. And be strapped down to avoid any self harm which might result.
However if all else fails allow them to continue with architecture, in a secure location away form normal society and adored with a bell warning locals to keep distance for fear if infection is extremely high.

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